One day there was a person called Mike. It was the 1st of September and mike was excited in going to school but anxious at the same time. mike arrived to school and entered the gates and saw over four hundred people playing in the playground. I Entered my first lesson and the whole class was silent.There was a boy called Jason who needed help with the work so mike went up to Jason and helped him. The next day Mike was feeling so confident that he could help anyone he wants, although Mike thought that was a good idea so he went to go and see needed help with work revision anything that someone needed help with Mike would help them. He got to school and saw Jason, he looked as if he was upset or ill or something like that , so he went up to Jason and if he had needed help with the work but Jason wasn’t felling well so Mike asked Jason if he was ok but Jason grabbed Mike and threw him to the ground. The crowd was cheering “fight fight” but Mike didn’t want to fight. Mike thought to him self Jason is going to pay. something changed in Jason that day something snapped.Mike got up and walked out the crowd. The next morning Mike woke up and his dad asked him what was wrong but Mike ignored.Mike thought until you show what your worth you will keep getting bullied until you finish school. Mike got to school and went straight to his enemy Jason and punched him straight in the face.Mike said “come on your weaker than I thought Jason got up then swung a punch to Mike and there is when the fight started they were punching kicking pushing each other and the crowd was cheering “fight fight”both sides were fighting strongly then Mike got so angry he exploded like a bomb Mike beated him up and left him on the floor.then Mike left him on the floor and left him. he whole crowed was cheering for mike.Scence that day Mike never talked to strangers again.
THE END
By ALEX GONCALVES
December 6, 2015 at 11:59 am
A decent start here Alex but we are missing some key elements of a sci-fi story. In order to get the badge hit the following targets:
1) Try not to use too many events in your story and avoid listing things that have happened. You need to describe only the key events to create an image for the reader.
2) Focus first on describing the setting of your story, this is key for sci-fi. Make sure that your reader can see the place the story is happening in their heads.
3) Try and create some tension by building up to dramatic moments through the tension techniques that we’ve discussed in class.
Lets see where your story goes based on these targets.
December 31, 2015 at 2:06 pm
You still need to adapt your work according to the feedback above Alex if you want to achieve the Genre Writing badge.